Friday, November 3, 2017

Saul,
I haven't quite recovered from seeing you at the airport yesterday. I think it has been thirty years since I knew that you and Mary had moved to the Continent somewhere, Sicily? Greece? Someplace warm and sunny I remember. The letters stopped a decade before that, didn't they? I kept yours bound carefully by date with a rubber band and stuffed in two shoeboxes. I don't know where they are now, probably in the very back of the mountain of belongings stacked in my second-ex-husband's garage, collecting mold. That's not what I intended to do with them. I truly thought we would both be great writers by now, and those letters would be published by one of the big houses, sitting on the shelf beside the letters of Eudora Welty, Truman Capote, Norman Mailer. Did you keep mine? No, don't tell me. I don't want to know. If I had truly believed I would be famous one day I would have kept carbon copies as the great writers did. It just didn't occur to me.

But I poured more of myself into those letters than into any other person or endeavor of my life, and I wish I could see them again. Since that is an unlikely scenario, I want to ask if you and I could take up our correspondence again, restart the conversation we dropped so many years ago. Letters are a forgotten part of our human heritage, what made us human and defined ourselves to ourselves, and to a select group of others, expressing and critiquing each others deepest thoughts and doubts. I have been lonely without them.

So think on it, dear friend. And Mary of course is welcome to chime in. Who would have imagined you two would stay together so long? I was sorry to miss her. You said she was in the bathroom and I had to run to my gate, but I hope you told her about our brief encounter. I want her to feel included, not like the old days when I believe I wanted to keep her separated from our precious philosophical discussions and arguments. It wasn't very nice of me, and I regret it. Tell her that.

Now that I have returned from my ten years in Mexico and you from Europe, and as we enter a new phase of life in our (argh!) seventies, I hope we can dig a new Panama Canal between our two oceans and send our tiny ships back and forth with missals from the other side.

If you say yes, I will celebrate by buying myself a quality fountain pen and some India ink. Remember that I was the only one who could read your handwriting? I hope you have mercy on me now, for my eyes are terrible.

All my love,
X

Thursday, November 2, 2017

Saul and Mary


At the apex of his career
Saul fell like a heavy potato
on the marble floor of the Louvre.
His last words were
“Tell Mary I—”
Mary was in the studio
at home in Pennsylvania
throwing clay pots
worrying about the chemistry
of the new indigo glaze.
The first light of dawn
sliced her shoulder
with a prism of warmth.
At Rouens they’d marveled
at soaring sandstone
the hand-dyed glass
gargoyles slowly dissolving
in a blur of October afternoons.
Whispers gathered like swallows
in the great stone buttresses.
He’d lost his passport
between breakfast and lunch
between cleft cobblestones.
They gave up looking,
took a nap with fishermen
on a moss bank by the river.
Mary never had children
life was too beautiful.
She could stand for hours
in the room of Botticellis
at the Uffizi.
Saul never even had a dog
he could contemplate for days
the fine curves
of a cloisonné snuffbox.
The day Ellington died
Saul was in a small café
overlooking the Danube,
where it curves around
the palace at Wurzburg.
The tears were wet on his cheeks
but he was smiling, smiling.
Mary was in a small shop
around the corner
spending two thousand dollars
on Austrian china
it was gold-leafed with cherubs
it reminded her of something.
When Mary died she was alone
they didn’t find her for three days
dried pastry batter on her hands
blueberry stains around her mouth
the phone bill lay open on the counter
it was astonishing.
The estate went to a mandolin player
they’d met in Corfu.
He kept the piano,
sold the rest

for his daughter’s wedding.